Ronald (Ron) Lee Baxley — In Memorium
Born: August 28, 1959 — Died: November 30, 2009
Nowadays, with cellphones, personal computers, emails, Facebook, Twitter, and all the other social media devices, it is relatively easy to keep in touch with and/or reconnect family and friends all over the world, and from all the pieces of our lives. Before all those things, and before most people got on board with all those things (my mother still isn’t), it was much more difficult. We relied heavily on cards and letters (neither of which were my forte), in person visits and phone calls.
We made a bold step and moved across the country to California in January of 2000. Behind us, we left friendships spanning twenty years or more. And although we all tried to stay connected, it was sometimes difficult, especially for us, because we were starting a new business, closing an old business down, and generally facing a large learning curve in a new industry. Not an excuse. Just a fact.
I learned just yesterday that a friend I’d known since I was 21 had died. Worse yet, he’d died in 2009. not two years after he and his boyfriend had visited us in Palm Springs. I had worried about him because he had moved and I had no forwarding phone or information. Still, you hope one day to get a card or a phone call. I got, quite by accident, notice that he was no longer alive. I am devastated and embarrassed.
I have known Ron Baxley since 1979. I had moved to Atlanta to go to Seminary (something I never completed), and had moved with a fraternity brother, Cleo Creech. Cleo was going to the Art Institute of Atlanta, met Ron, and they fell head over heels for each other (as often happens to us when we are young and freshly out as gay men — oh hell, it happens to everybody all the time no matter how old they are — who am I kidding!. Anyway, Ron was soon our roommate, and when Chris moved out to live with another boyfriend, Ron stayed.
We became close. Ron and I visited his aunt Gloria many times. He adored her. I even joined him on a trip back to Summerville for the wedding of one of his siblings, despite the fact that Ron’s family had really not accepted him at that point. They were good people, but talk about stressful! Then boyfriends, and more boyfriends, and lots of job changes for all of us and Ron also moved in with a boyfriend. John S. Foltz moved down from North Carolina and moved in with me.
A few years later, Ron was looking for a place to stay, and he once again became my roommate, this time with John S. Foltz. We brought two cats, Harrison and Westin, and Ron Brought Katy, the sweetest cocker spaniel you could ever meet. We lived together, then moved apart briefly (boyfriend again), then finally became roommates again at 1769 Monroe Dr NE, Atlanta, GA. We lived there for awhile, and during that time, I met my future husband, Stephen Boyd. Well, again, we all had job changes, boyfriend changes, and we all moved into separate directions, but Ron always came by for Christmas, we called and kept in touch, and he also sent me a mother’s day card every year. He continued doing that even after we moved to California.
Ron visited us one in California. I had been bugging him to come out and see us, and finally he did. Mike came with him. Wa had a great time catching up. Shortly after that visit, though, Ron’s phone number changed and his address changed, and I had trouble reaching him. Time gets away from us. In that interim, Ron moved to Florida — first to Orlando, then to Altamonte Springs. It was there, I guess, that he died.
I lost one other friend this way. Another in our group of Atlanta friends, Teri Renella. I hope never to lose another one unknowing, and I intend to work on that. But in the meantime, if you knew Ron Baxley, and you’d like to leave a memory or a remembrance of him, I have reactivated the guest book from his obituary. You can see them both here.