Who said who I would be?
	Not me!
For all the expectation, there was no collaberation!
	and I was left alone!

Who claimed responsibility?
	Not me!
Despite my concentration, there was no great revelation;
	and I was left unknown.
I stare wide-eyed -
	nearly wall-eyed.
Two in, and one back.
	Small. blue. Reaching in to find more multi-colored hues.

	Pinpoints multiplied.
Set full tilt, and back lit.
	Wide. blue. Reaching out to find a more focused view.

I stare wide-eyed.
	hypnotized, and, just perhaps,fully analyzed.
Caught like a fly in amber -
	Nearly Petrified.
Better Living.

Has the way become easier now?
Does the walk feel better
	when the feet feel only the soft wet squishiness of moss-strewn paths?

Does time pass without pain now?
	Does it turn on itself with less notice
now that clocks no longer tick-tock, tick-tock,
	and mechanical parts and pieces have been replaced
by dots and dashes - zeros and ones - liquid lights with dim red and green faces.

Does sleep come with less trepidation
	than before,
and does the rain fall more easily
	in a world painted with pastels
than it did when the pigments streaked across the canvass in ragged waves
	of unadulterated color.

Life, and living. 

Now made easy (better?)
	because we stare at colors
through the self-induced haze of computer dreams
	and hexidecimal constructs.
What next? 

What new insult must I bear,
	all the while claiming neutrality at worst,
and empathy more often.

What face is this I must wear?
	What lie must I address as truth
		for the sake of someone else’s sensitivity,
or feelings....

And what of MY feelings?
	Are they only fodder,
		Fit only for feeding to pigs!

I have claimed this history - this foolishness!
	And for what?	

So I can find some semblance of victory
	in a nameless (and likely nonexistent) future? 

Or perhaps for the sake of those less fortunate (me?).
	Less enlightened (me?),
and less likely to be able to face the bitter (awful) truth
	that calls itself life as we know it!

	I am angry, and for what? 

For my own benefit?
	To somehow assuage any guilt I might feel
because I choose to let my feelings out
	without sanitizing my thoughts?